Crazy, Crazy Grey’s

I’ve spent a good deal of time trying to figure out why I love Grey’s Anatomy so much. Here are my best guesses:

1. I like groups of friends.

2. I think it would be nice to have a job that was important.

3. Seattle seems nice in a drizzly kind of way.

But recently, man oh man, this show has spiraled out of control. I thought last season was bad, but this season seems to be the product of the writers sitting around asking themselves, “How outlandish can we make the show without being pulled off the air mid-season?”

The answer to that question? Pretty damn outlandish. Only seven episodes in, the following has already occurred:

1. Cristina was stabbed in the chest by an icicle.

2. A rogue military surgeon straight from the desert visits the hospital long enough to give someone a ballpoint pen tracheotomy and stick his tongue down Cristina’s throat, and is therefore immediately offered a permanent position at Grace by the chief. He declines, but still shows up two episodes later as the head of the E.R.

3. Crazy army guy then, on his first day in the hospital, slits the throats of ten large living pigs in a disgustingly cruel, twisted teaching attempt.

4. Dr. Hahn and Callie ignite their lesbian love affair (kind of, barely), only to have it end abruptly as the actress who plays Hahn is fired from the show without any explanation. The viewers get no more explanation in the next episode, unless you want to count Callie’s sad faces as explanations.

5. Meredith’s old, never-before-mentioned, accent-bearing friend shows up as a new intern (do they accept new students into the program at any time???), immediately making Cristina jealous and hostile. ALIAS fans will remember actress Melissa George as Vaughn’s wife who turns out to be a traitor. Her character here is even less appealing, and in her first episode she takes off her shirt in front of a roomful of fellow interns, slices her back open with a scalpel, and invites them to practice their stitches on her bleeding, bony shoulder blade. Edgy.

6. Hahn’s potential cardio replacement shows up– Battlestar Gallactica fans will know her as President Laura Roslin– to turn everything upside-down with her crazy surgical antics. She reveals at the end of the episode that she has Asperger’s.

7. George passes his intern exam and promptly disappears.

8. Oh, and Izzy’s seeing ghosts. Did you get that? She’s seeing Denny, she’s feeling him, she’s making out with him.

Which seems to confirm summer rumors that Katherine Hegel will be killed off via brain tumor. A brain tumor seems to be the only viable explanation for these visions, especially since dead Denny keeps telling her that he is appearing “for her,” i.e., to help her transition into his arms in the afterlife?

So. Utterly. Crappy. And. Disappointing.

Here’s the a blog which expounds on what I’ve just reported: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2008/11/greys-anatomy-i.html

I’m going to end this entry with lines as lame as this season of what used to be my favorite weeknight escape:

Is it possible to resurrect Grey’s? Because it’s slowly circling the drain.

They should seriously hire me onto their writing staff. Seriously.