This is the only reasonable conclusion after one considers the details of my morning:
1. First, I woke up, and I was not in Cleveland.
2. Second, there was a big pot of coffee waiting for me in the kitchen.
3. Third, I hear David ask, “Do you wanna go see Sarah Vowell this Saturday night?”
Oh do I! Many of you know I harbor a secret hope that one day Sarah Vowell and I will be best friends. I’ve met her twice, once in Daytona where she told me not to get married because it would only end in divorce, and once in Atlanta where she agreed to sign a paper asking Craig why he chose to go to Taco Mac instead of hearing her read.
Doesn’t she sound charming?
Also, I’ll have the chance to get her newest book signed, which means I can maintain my collection (I even have Radio On signed, and it’s a damn good book too, even though folks often forget about it). Her new book The Wordy Shipmates has to do with America’s Puritan roots, Pilgrims, the First Americans– basically, this part of the country! Here’s a look and synopsis from Amazon:

Synopsis
The Wordy Shipmates is New York Times-bestselling author Sarah Vowell’s exploration of the Puritans and their journey to America to become the people of John Winthrop’s “city upon a hill”-a shining example, a “city that cannot be hid.”
To this day, America views itself as a Puritan nation, but Vowell investigates what that means-and what it should mean. What was this great political enterprise all about? Who were these people who are considered the philosophical, spiritual, and moral ancestors of our nation? What Vowell discovers is something far different from what their uptight shoe-buckles-and-corn reputation might suggest. The people she finds are highly literate, deeply principled, and surprisingly feisty. Their story is filled with pamphlet feuds, witty courtroom dramas, and bloody vengeance. Along the way she asks:
• Was Massachusetts Bay Colony governor John Winthrop a communitarian, a Christlike Christian, or conformity’s tyrannical enforcer? Answer: Yes!
• Was Rhode Island’s architect, Roger Williams, America’s founding freak or the father of the First Amendment? Same difference.
• What does it take to get that jezebel Anne Hutchinson to shut up? A hatchet.
• What was the Puritans’ pet name for the Pope? The Great Whore of Babylon.
Sarah Vowell’s special brand of armchair history makes the bizarre and esoteric fascinatingly relevant and fun. She takes us from the modern-day reenactment of an Indian massacre to the Mohegan Sun casino, from old-timey Puritan poetry, where “righteousness” is rhymed with “wilderness,” to a Mayflower-themed waterslide. Throughout, The Wordy Shipmates is rich inhistorical fact, humorous insight, and social commentary by one of America’s most celebrated voices. Thou shalt enjoy it.