I have a story. It involves a squirrel (a live one).
Yesterday I was walking back from the Meadow (Ghetto) Glen Mall, located just beside the Mystic River. I had gone there to get interview shoes, and ended up eating a Big Mac, alone, where no one could see me, ordered from a food court McDonald’s with a hand-written sign posted that read, “Sorry No Soda.”
Well, I was walking back, and I noticed a squirrel running around someone’s yard. There was something strange about this squirrel, so I stopped and looked closer. And NOTICED– this squirrel was carrying an entire biscuit in its mouth! No wonder it was racing like the happiest squirrel ever!
Thinking I might recount this on the blog, and that a nice squirrel photo might spruce up what is admittedly a pretty simple story (squirrel+biscuit), I did a Google Image search for “squirrel.”
And up came these photos of dead squirrels people had manipulated in order to get a funny picture! The grossest had three G.I. Joes posing with their guns, one foot propped on the carcass, so it looked as if they had shot this giant squirrel. Another showed a dead squirrel hugging a beer bottle.
Look. I’ll go a long way for a laugh. I’ll venture, even, into offensive territory if I think it will make my friends laugh or make my mom uncomfortable. But this is going too far.
I hope those photographers contracted squirrel fleas that bit the heck out of their underparts.
